Good manners at a restaurant show respect for your date, the staff, and the experience you're sharing. This guide covers the essentials — not outdated rules, but practical etiquette that makes date night dining smoother.
Dress Codes Explained
Casual
Clean jeans, a nice top or button-down, clean sneakers or casual shoes. Appropriate for most bistros, ethnic restaurants, and casual dining spots.
Smart Casual
Collared shirt or blouse, dress pants or a skirt, closed-toe shoes or clean boots. No athletic wear or flip-flops. This is the default for most date-night restaurants.
Business Casual
Blazer optional, dress slacks, dress shoes. Expected at upscale bistros and hotel restaurants.
Formal
Suit or cocktail dress, dress shoes. Required at fine-dining establishments with tasting menus. When in doubt, check the restaurant's website or call ahead.
When unsure, dress one level above what you think is needed. It's better to be slightly overdressed than underdressed on a date.
Table Manners That Matter
- Put your phone on silent and keep it in your bag or pocket — not on the table
- Wait until everyone is served before starting to eat
- Chew with your mouth closed and avoid speaking with food in your mouth
- Use utensils from the outside in for formal multi-course meals
- Place your napkin on your lap when seated; place it on the table (not the chair) when leaving temporarily
- Tip your server, not the maitre d' separately (unless exceptional service warrants it)
How to Treat Restaurant Staff
How someone treats waitstaff reveals character. On a date, observe (and demonstrate):
- Make eye contact and say please and thank you
- Don't snap fingers or wave aggressively for attention — a raised hand or eye contact is sufficient
- If something is wrong with your order, mention it politely: "Excuse me, I think this was supposed to be medium-rare" rather than complaining loudly
- Tip 18–20% on the pre-tax total for standard service; 20–25% for exceptional service
Handling the Check
- If you invited: Offer to pay clearly. "I've got this one" is simple and direct.
- If splitting: Use Venmo, Cash App, or split on the card. Decide before the check arrives to avoid awkward negotiation at the table.
- Alternating: In ongoing relationships, many couples take turns paying. Track informally or alternate by date.
- Don't fight over the bill in a performative way. One offer, one acceptance. Extended bill battles create discomfort.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
- Arriving more than 15 minutes late without notifying your date or the restaurant
- Ordering for your date without asking
- Complaining about prices at the table
- Getting excessively drunk — one or two drinks is fine; losing control is not
- Spending the entire meal on your phone
- Being rude to staff when the restaurant is busy — wait times happen
After the Meal
Don't rush out the moment you finish eating. Linger over coffee or dessert if the conversation is flowing. When you're ready to leave, thank the server, push your chair in, and leave the table reasonably tidy. A brief walk after dinner is a classic way to extend the evening.
More guides: First Date Dining · Reservations